omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
