you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
