Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I said "one day" and that day is not today
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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