I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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