I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
the condom got lost in my hair
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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