Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Farmville is her only friend.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
