she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
