is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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