Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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