in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Then you guys just all showered together...?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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