My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize