People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
