Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize