sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
