Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
