when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
