How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
