i just wanna soil my oats bro
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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