worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
