Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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