Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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