Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

You really coming over, don't trick.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes

Fav 14 917 3529
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(856): View more from New Jersey

just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.

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(734): View more from Michigan

i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.

Fav 11 1192 4225
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(443): View more from Maryland

Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.

(1-617): View more from Massachusetts

I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?

Fav 4 834 382
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(813): View more from Florida

All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.

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