You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
