after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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