Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Boobs speak an international language.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
