nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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