You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
