I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize
