Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
