The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
