Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
