Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
