so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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