Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
