I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
He has the fingertips of a God
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
