trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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