i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
