So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
