Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
