And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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