The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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