did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Randomize
