Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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