i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
