it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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