me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
