Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
