I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
