is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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