Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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