Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
