I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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