The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
