im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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