I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
