Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
