all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
