Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize