I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
