and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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