This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
